It is amazing to be present and not being there, not in a good way of course. Most of the times when we find ourselves helpless we wait for the suffering to be over, we learn to endure, to submit to what we can't change, we spend our days counting minutes, our weeks counting days, our years counting months. What is terrifying are the consequences not of the suffering or misery itself but of the endurance and the submission in a way we learn to be okay with what isn't right, what should have been right, what is ugly and harmful for everyone. We slowly and unconsciously become numb after a while. It seems like we can live with it and everyone else should be able to as well. Endurance, putting one foot after the other, hanging in there, whatever you may call it no one deserves to live like that, we all deserve to live without fear, live out loud, live the life we want. Yet most of us spend our days, lives even, waiting, enduring, hoping. We shouldn't have to.
Unsent Letter
I have decided that I don't hate you anymore. I don't think I ever actually hated you, but I did resent you. I resented you for so long, for not putting in enough effort, for falling out of love with me, for taking me for granted. But I never hated you, I loved you too much to ever be able to hate you. I think we both went in it with love, I am sure that I did but I think you did too, because I felt loved, I felt wanted, I felt complete. Maybe that was the problem, you were not the missing piece, that was not on you but that is a discussion for another day. I think we went in with love or infatuation mistaken for love and when we ran out it, whatever that it was, we were afraid or perhaps too lazy to come out. I don't know about you but I know I knew deep down that we had run out of whatever that it was, but I kept telling myself, maybe if I put in a little more effort, a little more time we will rekindle it. I don't know about you though, because you stopped telling m...
Comments
Post a Comment